New Song: A New Day

New Video: The ILLZ x MTV Sucker Free

New Song: The Constant Gardener

“The Constant Gardener” is actually the introduction record to The Darkest Hour. Some of you may recognize the instrumentation behind the song as the sample used for Jay-Z’s “Dead Presidents”.

I have to thank my close friend Joel Jimenez for helping me put this record together. We were BBQ’ing a couple of summers ago and he played a “Garden of Peace” by Lonnie Liston Smith and suggested that I use it.

At first I wasn’t really too keen on the idea. Due to Jay-Z’s classic record I truly felt as if that wasn’t something that should be trotted upon but after arriving home that night I played the original by Lonnie Liston Smith and the verse just came pouring out.

The interview snippet at the beginning of the record stems from my 2010 interview with Angela Yee at Shade 45 for her Don’t Quit Your Day Job segment. The songs that were commented on by the listeners were “Faded/Los Angeles (existen)” and “Heaven (Higher)” from our mix tape The Pursuit LP. The interview snippet at the end is from my interview with Hip Hop Chronicle of the same year.

This record is one of deep significance for me. I can truly say that this record comes directly from the heart. It perfectly describes a specific time and place in my life.

I hope you enjoy it. It means a lot to me.

—

“To the desert go prophets and hermits; through deserts go pilgrims and exiles. Here the leaders of the great religions have sought the therapeutic and spiritual values of retreat, not to escape but to find reality.”

Paul Shepard,

Man In The Landscape: A Historic View of The Esthetics of Nature

The Darkest Hour - coming 11/13/12

Sign up now at http://www.theillz.com and receive the advanced copy of TDH as well as access to exclusive downloads

Production - http://lonnielistonsmith.net

Photography - http://rodolfo-diaz.com

recorded and mixed at r&j recording studios - perth amboy, nj - 732-921-1474

For Promotional Use Only

Tales of The Tapes: The Story Behind M.P.A.

Men Are Like Rubber Bands

“When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.”

I never quite understood why I had always felt this immense need to disappear once I became too close or intimate with a woman. It was something that was automatic and once the feeling came over me there was nothing I could do to fight it. I needed to pull away.

At the time I thought there had to be something wrong with me. How could I want to be away from a person whom I felt such strong feelings for? Was it all a big lie? Was I a fraud? Had I selfishly mislead her? Was I out just to conquer this woman only to leave her once she had fully given herself over to me? Was I a monster?

Mix these thoughts and questions in with the oncoming pressure of a woman who is just as confused as you are. In her mind, just yesterday everything was fine and it was. Now in her confusion she begins to ask herself questions. Was it something I did/didn’t do? Was it something I said/didn’t say? Was this all just a big game? Am I not good enough for him?

Unfortunately this scenario is way too common between two young lovers that are ignorant to the differences between a man and a woman. Had I known that this need to pull away was something not only normal but healthy for the both of us a lot of pain and confusion would have been avoided. But then again I would not have created this song that has spoken to similar lost lovers out there. As they say, God works in mysterious ways.

“A man automatically alternates between needing intimacy and autonomy”

Because I myself thought there was something wrong with having to pull away I began avidly avoiding this beautiful girl who was just as confused and in need for answers as I was. However, two people drowning in a pool of ignorance and confusion towards the real reasons behind their feelings and actions serve as no help to each other.

I was avoiding her because I was embarrassed thus my need for an apology, a public one at that. I was also avoiding her because I began to believe her.

“Were all these feelings, all these things you said a big lie?” Maybe they were I thought.

Once this happens you begin to find excuses. Maybe I just need to focus on my career. Maybe she wasn’t the one. Maybe what I felt was something I imagined in my own mind and was never actually there.

It took a book that is rather cliche at this point to finally show me the truth. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray, Ph.D. had the answer I was always looking for.

—

Why Men Pull Away When Women Get Close

For many women, a man tends to pull away precisely at the time when she wants to talk and be intimate. This occurs for two reasons:

1. A woman will unconsciously sense when a man is pulling away and precisely at those times she will attempt to reestablish their intimate connection and say “Let’s talk.” As he continues to pull away, she mistakenly concludes that he doesn’t want to talk or that he doesn’t care for her.

2. When a woman opens up and shares deeper and more intimate feelings it may actually trigger a man’s need to pull away. A man can only handle so much intimacy before his alarm bells go off, saying it is time to find balance by pulling away. At the most intimate moments a man may suddenly automatically switch to feeling his need for autonomy and pull away.

It is very confusing for a woman when a man pulls away because something she says or does often triggers his departure. Generally when a woman starts to talk about things with feeling a man starts to feel this urge to pull away. This is because feelings draw men closer and create intimacy, and when a man gets too close he automatically pulls away.

It is not that he doesn’t want to hear her feelings. At another time in his intimacy cycle, when he is needing to get close, the same feelings that could have triggered his departure will draw him closer. It is not what she says that triggers his departure but when she says it.

—

Delgis Mustafa [The ILLZ]

Tales of The Tapes: The Music Behind M.P.A.

I’ve noticed something weird about my creative process. I sometimes write my best songs over instrumentation that I don’t end up using in the recording process.

For example, “M.P.A. (My Public Apology)” was fully written to Alpha’s “Blue Autumn”. I went into the studio and have a version over this instrumentation but for whatever reason I wasn’t satisfied with the way my voice sounded over this piece of music so I went looking for a different instrumental to set the lyrics over.

I recalled hearing a different, almost interlude like, version of Telepopmusik’s “Breathe” at the end of one of their songs. I went on the hunt and finally came across it. I was able to loop it and felt that it was a bit more fitting for the overall mood I wanted to convey with this record.

In my opinion “Blue Autumn” was very springy and sunny. I was looking for something more bittersweet and I felt that this version of “Breathe” definitely had it.

Angela McCluskey is the woman heard on “Breathe” and many other amazing Telepopmusik records. Along with Rachel Foster she has one of my favorite voices ever among female singers. I realized at one point that Angela also had several solo records to her name and began to check them out.

I think it was on YouTube that I came across “Hey You” which was the opening track on Duke B’s New York A.M. album. The beginning of the song hypnotized me and I was excited as to what the track would eventually evolve into.

“Hey You” is a great record but outside of the record’s intro I could not think of any other parts which I could flip into a Hip-Hop record. So I decided to keep a mental bookmark of that record for future use.

The version of “Breathe” that I had chosen lacked an introduction as dramatic as “Hey You” so I dabbled with the idea of intertwining both tracks. To my luck it worked beautifully. The pop at the beginning of the “Breathe” record served as the perfect transition between both songs.

In addition, the lyrics worked so well with my subject matter.

“Hey you beauty all around you. Hey you”

“I brought you some something close to me
And left with something new
I can see through your head
You haunt my dreams
But theres nothing to do but believe
Just believe
Just breathe”

Though I didn’t use Alpha’s “Blue Autumn” for the recording, that was the instrumentation that led to an outpouring of emotions and thoughts which would give birth to M.P.A. (My Public Apology).

I have always held the strong belief that my best songs write themselves and that was definitely the case with this record.

As they say, there is no such thing as a self-made man and with that in mind I’d like to thank everyone who directly inspired and helped make this record come to life.

Vanessa Rodriguez

Alpha

Duke B

Angela McCluskey

Telepopmusik

Kristopher Rey-Talley

Lourdes Madera

Darren Aronofsky

Ricardo Mendez

Monika Gubis

Paul Betancourt

Veronica Sarmiento

beats-hoes-rhymes:

Going through my iTunes and ran into this project, I remember listening to this all the time back in the day without a doubt one of my favorite projects.                       The ILLZ - Pursuit LP »

fuckyeahdominicanmen:

wesmokeanalicia:

One day #theillz #mpa #video #undergroundhiphop #hiphophead #sweet (Taken with Instagram)

she-whispers:

What’s the point of being alive if you don’t make a difference?
Contemplating suicide, heavy’s the decision.
But I rather keep living even if I feel dimished
Cause I’m the one that decides when everything is finished
So when tough times roll in and everything’s against me
I promise to give it all I got until I’m empty 

jonnyraps:

THE ILLZ

hyghlyconducive:

one of the realist artists out.

killakimberly:

Though at times, I do miss you. I just realized I was doing worse with you.

undergroundhiphop-eargasms:

The Sun Doesn’t Know It’s A Star - The ILLZ

3of5:

this is probably the most self indulgent thing i’ve ever posted, so to make up for it, here’s some of his music (x) (x)

blackpennies:

The ILLZ: An underground MC I got hooked onto last year.

His first song I really noticed: Turpentine Weed. I love it. There’s something about it—the split personality visuals are nice too.

Attended NJCU, studied video production film—theres a certain art to him, a simple sharpness to his…

7minutesafterdeath:

The ILLZ-

The Sun Doesnt Know Its a Star [2011]

xstephahkneex:

THE ILLZ <333

choppedciity:

The ILLZ. His music is fucking incredible. I love the fact that I am high right now and listening to this. Everybody, if shit bothers you just listen to music. Seriously, I love music more than people.

ohhsoostunningg:

Love how I can @ The ILLZ and he’ll reply. He’s great.

publicenemynumbertwo:

The ILLZ